Technology and Instant Gratification

What have cellphones, e-mail, instant messaging, SMS and social networking sites done to us? For one they have made it easier to connect and relate to others. Infact it even has helped people find old friends, keep in touch, even though you may not have met them for years. Technology has created ways where we can choose who we want in our virtual world and block the unwanted.

In a busy world technology has helped us form virtual relationships, sometimes with very little probability of meeting face to face.

Along with all this, technology has created space for individuals who want instant gratification. If Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst would have been alive, he would have jumped in joy to see how his theory about humans wanting instant pleasure has turned right.

Maybe Freud was born a little too early. I wonder what else he could have speculated.

By Instant Gratification, I just mean that people want quick replies to their sent text messages — the absence of which can create doubt, panic and sometimes a lot of other thoughts about how their message is being perceived. The reality is that no matter how reliable technology is, sometimes, it fails us. The messages don't reach,there are people who don't read messages and also sometimes if we keep our phones silent, we may miss a message for hours and not only that if you are in a meting or workshop,you may not see it all!

This happens to all of us, but the big question is — what can you do about it?

I love technology and I'm married to a techie :) So this isn't any anti tech message. It's just a thought. Let's explore how we can use technology to our optimum in the next article.

Sense of worth

My psychology professor, while teaching Rogers, mentioned a line that stayed with me. Over the years it has shaped my work with my clients. This post is a way of thanking my professor for saying that and touching my life in a significant way.

The strange thing is that I still remember the day when she mentioned the line and how it kept echoing for a very long time.Carl Rogers was a therapist who believed in the human potential. He believed that people have the capacity to find their own answers. My professor said —

'The fact that you are a human being makes you worthy'.

I consider this as something sacred, which has touched the lives of so many students who I taught psychology and the clients I worked with. It helps reinforce the idea of being and I have seen people's faces light up as soon as they hear it. It's been healing in a beautiful way.

Thanks for sharing that line with us and touching so many lives.

Dreams

Dreams pass in to the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.

-Anais Nin

Couple of years back I read something in my dream, which continues to come back to me every now and then. They just appeared in a dream and prepared me for life to come.

Faith to Fathom
Strength to Surrender

Over the years I have felt this dream and the message slowly seeping in to my life. Teaching me faith and helping me surrender. I still wonder where did these lines come from. Dreams can be therapeutic too.

Counsellor characteristics that no textbook teaches

Years of practicing as therapist has taught me few things which no textbook really addressed. It has been fascinating how certain characteristics seem to be as relevant as the process of therapy itself.

Often when I bump in to my clients after therapy has been terminated and address them by their first name, they are amazed. They feel so happy that I still remember their name or even if they call and I recognize their voice, it feels good to them.I have realized how important it is to remember people's names. All of us love being addressed by our first names, and now I have realized that it matters a lot. So all budding counselors, start working on your memory. :)

Remembering details of what a client shares is immensely important and may be that explains why making notes is essential for every counselor. However the most essential is to listen to your client, take every word as important and store it in one corner to your mind and retrieve it when your client is taking. One of the skills is to remember register and connect various pieces of information that clients talk at various times and believe me, if you do so, it's beautiful how clients develop their own insight.

Reflections

As a therapist,I'm quite used to asking my clients, about their wellbeing but I'm not used to clients asking about mine. The other day a client asked me, "How are you doing?" and without exaggerating I was surprised, almost missed the question.

I shared with him how I'm not used to answering this question and suddenly it felt funny. The reality is when I'm working with clients, it's almost as if I wear the garb of a therapist and that's my identity, with a focus on how to help the client make most of it and as a result somewhere I do forget about myself.

The other day I just realized that listening comes to me so naturally and somewhere I'm not even conscious of it now. It's may be one skill, I cannot remember how I developed it, it just happened. However the training on paraphrasing, summarization and empathy did sharpen it.

My journey as a therapist has been interesting one and full of surprises. It has made me admire the human spirit and trust people's innate ability to heal.As a therapist, I would like to thank every client who gave me a chance to work with them and God.

As a therapist, I often help my clients provide a space where they can ventilate their emotions, learn to express their feelings and feel light. They often describe counseling process as a space where they can be uninhibited.

I remember often telling my students that as counselors we do possess a sense of power and it’s essential to not let this sense of importance get to our heads. As I’m writing I tell myself that it’s a process which creates that space and not me.

However this besides the point, I have learnt that building spaces for others is easier as compared to creating a space for oneself.

As a therapist one of the professional hazards is burnout or emotional exhaustion. Now I know the way to deal with is to remind myself that I need the space too, the space to breathe, the space to exude my personal identity, the space to experience my emotions and finally the space to prepare myself for my professional identity too.

Origins of Therapy Sherapy

This one time, a few relatives came over to visit. After the greetings and formalities, the dreaded question arose – “So what are you doing these days?” It can often get difficult communicating what I really do as a therapist, and why does the world need more of our kind (read narcissism).

As I begin my long and oft-repeated job description, my uncle interrupts – “The girl is in to ‘Therapy Sherapy’”, to which everyone looks at me and nods, saying “Oh, Good work, Good work”.

I look at my husband and say “Therapy Sherapy?!?” The term almost has a lightness attached to it and a desiness that intrigues me.

A profession that’s all about complexity of human mind, human potential and layered with intricate emotions becomes Therapy Sherapy.

I call this The Indianization of my professional avatar

Sonali Gupta, a Therapist Sherapist. :)