Counsellor characteristics that no textbook teaches

Years of practicing as therapist has taught me few things which no textbook really addressed. It has been fascinating how certain characteristics seem to be as relevant as the process of therapy itself.

Often when I bump in to my clients after therapy has been terminated and address them by their first name, they are amazed. They feel so happy that I still remember their name or even if they call and I recognize their voice, it feels good to them.I have realized how important it is to remember people's names. All of us love being addressed by our first names, and now I have realized that it matters a lot. So all budding counselors, start working on your memory. :)

Remembering details of what a client shares is immensely important and may be that explains why making notes is essential for every counselor. However the most essential is to listen to your client, take every word as important and store it in one corner to your mind and retrieve it when your client is taking. One of the skills is to remember register and connect various pieces of information that clients talk at various times and believe me, if you do so, it's beautiful how clients develop their own insight.

Reflections

As a therapist,I'm quite used to asking my clients, about their wellbeing but I'm not used to clients asking about mine. The other day a client asked me, "How are you doing?" and without exaggerating I was surprised, almost missed the question.

I shared with him how I'm not used to answering this question and suddenly it felt funny. The reality is when I'm working with clients, it's almost as if I wear the garb of a therapist and that's my identity, with a focus on how to help the client make most of it and as a result somewhere I do forget about myself.

The other day I just realized that listening comes to me so naturally and somewhere I'm not even conscious of it now. It's may be one skill, I cannot remember how I developed it, it just happened. However the training on paraphrasing, summarization and empathy did sharpen it.

My journey as a therapist has been interesting one and full of surprises. It has made me admire the human spirit and trust people's innate ability to heal.As a therapist, I would like to thank every client who gave me a chance to work with them and God.

As a therapist, I often help my clients provide a space where they can ventilate their emotions, learn to express their feelings and feel light. They often describe counseling process as a space where they can be uninhibited.

I remember often telling my students that as counselors we do possess a sense of power and it’s essential to not let this sense of importance get to our heads. As I’m writing I tell myself that it’s a process which creates that space and not me.

However this besides the point, I have learnt that building spaces for others is easier as compared to creating a space for oneself.

As a therapist one of the professional hazards is burnout or emotional exhaustion. Now I know the way to deal with is to remind myself that I need the space too, the space to breathe, the space to exude my personal identity, the space to experience my emotions and finally the space to prepare myself for my professional identity too.

Origins of Therapy Sherapy

This one time, a few relatives came over to visit. After the greetings and formalities, the dreaded question arose – “So what are you doing these days?” It can often get difficult communicating what I really do as a therapist, and why does the world need more of our kind (read narcissism).

As I begin my long and oft-repeated job description, my uncle interrupts – “The girl is in to ‘Therapy Sherapy’”, to which everyone looks at me and nods, saying “Oh, Good work, Good work”.

I look at my husband and say “Therapy Sherapy?!?” The term almost has a lightness attached to it and a desiness that intrigues me.

A profession that’s all about complexity of human mind, human potential and layered with intricate emotions becomes Therapy Sherapy.

I call this The Indianization of my professional avatar

Sonali Gupta, a Therapist Sherapist. :)